Is Nerina still alive?

Long weekend in Rome, by Peter Brooker, September 2024.

Rome Day One ~ The Restaurant

The waiter at the Iari The Vino, has the physique of a hobbyist bodybuilder. He jokes with two drunk Australian tourists who had lost count of the amount of Aperol Spritz' they had consumed that afternoon and are questioning the bill. They resign themselves to the waiters calculations, and laugh him away.

Ravioli pistachio for you, darling?

I ordered the Ravioli pistachio and get congratulated on my choice by one eavesdropping Australian. 'Fucking great choice mate,' he slobbered.

I thanked him, and quickly turned my back to him. Fortunately the Australian accepted my rebuff and continued his conversation with his friend, so loudly that all the other patrons were also privy.

"Every chick that studies psychology, must have had something traumatic happen to them in their childhood. They're either running away from something, or getting over something." It was a crass, albeit not truly unfounded observation.

Rome Day Two ~ Sistine Chapel

The guy in the cafe, charges me 30 euros flat, for 3 coffees, 3 orange juices and 2 croissants. He presents complimentary waters to my Mum and Anastasia and when I try to offer my hand, he pinches a chunk of my cheek in jest like a drunk Uncle at Christmas.

Outside the Vatican, tourist clones suffer 3 hours of queuing in 32 degrees heat, with only a brief reprieve under the colonnades, only to then endure 3 hours of relentless walks and talks down the map rooms of the Vatican. The Sistine Chapel is more or less as you'd expect it to be. But had you seen it pre-1981, before the restorations, one would be justified in feeling underwhelmed at the blackness and the deterioration of the Frescos. Small squares of black still remain , deliberately to show off the contrast, and for the common observer to marvel at the incredible luminosity of its reparations.

16th Century Michelangelo fresco from the walls of the Sistine Chapel

Afterwards we strolled to the local pizzeria. There the waiter walked me through the various black and white portraits of famous Italian actors that adorned the walls in what Anastasia would describe, Chinese Flea Market.  Each of them featured Mastroianni in La Dolce Vita, with the exception of Gregory Peck of course with Audrey Hepburn clutching to him in that way women like to be driven.

I asked him if the portrait of one man in a pin stripe suit was Cubby Broccoli, and felt rather silly when the chef was ordered from the kitchen by the waiter for clarification that it was in fact Fellini.

Rome Day Three ~ Colosseum & Pantheon

The Pantheon has two queues; one for cash, one for card. In the queue, a family of four barges in front of us quite absurdly. In true British fashion I complain to Anastasia about the rudeness of it all and do nothing about it. I overhear the family talk in French which irks me all the more. I'm not having these Frenchie’s cut in, and cut my way in front, with all the petulance and snobbery of a disgruntled Englishman.

Pete's own Osterley Safety Razor & the Colosseum, Rome

Outside the Colosseum buses run serpentine around the big circular concrete domes stuffed with hedge-plants and fag butts. An Italian will smoke like they were born to smoke. Like a Chinese child prodigy will take to a piano, an Italian will make smoking look just as easy, and with an insouciant degree of efficiency.

Pete's mum & Anastasia outside the Colosseum, Rome

A bald officer of the Carabinieri looks on, and swats away a fly from his forearms with gentle persuasion.

The gift shops inside the Colosseum are replete with merchandise of Nerina the black cat, the amphitheaters’ most infamous resident.

'Is Nerina still alive?' I asked the sales girl.
'She died in 2021,' She replied.

Of course Gladiator was not filmed here. Unesco doesn't allow filming inside the Colosseum, no matter who comes knocking. The tour guide dismisses Gladiator as 'bullshit'. That's the problem with scholars, when they don't have their heads in books, they have them up their arses.

The legend who was Oliver Reed (left) & all-round top Kiwi bloke, Russell Crowe (right), scene from Gladiator (2000).
No tour guide or scholar won an Oscar for a performance in this film, or died in a Maltese bar during filming.

 

About the author

Peter Brooker is the co-author of From Tailors With Love an Evolution of Menswear Through the Bond Films and is also Editor-in-Chief of From Tailors With Love, a blog, vlog and podcast dedicated to men’s costumes and cinematic style.

Follow Pete on Instagram: @therewillbebond (over 22k followers)

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Above: Pete with his Osterley Safety Razor.