The Denver Report
By Peter Brooker, August 2026.
Phil Collins sang 'Get 'Em Out by Friday, Get 'Em Out by Friday - With land in your hand, you'll be happy on earth. Then invest in the Church for your heaven,' as we flew through Yosemite Street, careering toward the low blood orange sun which floodlit the Rockies.
'We're on the way to the Garden of the Gods,' Vlad, our driver said. Vlad was best man at my wedding. A good egg and an informative guide. I'd forgotten how long Vlad had lived in Denver, but long enough to know that downtown is not what it used to be. Garden of the Gods; someone said when they discovered these red Rockies splintering the arid land, if the Gods were to have a Beer Garden, this would be it.
Pete's Osterley Safety Razor in the Rockies near Denver, Colorado
There is a museum where you can see a stuffed Mountain Lion. Underneath, a plaque says 'there are 4-5 thousand of them that roam. This one was hit by a car.' Sightings are rare, attacks even rarer. Although a male mountain lion killed a 46-year-old hiker in northern Colorado on New Year’s Day 2026. Following the attack, Colorado Parks and Wildlife officers euthanized two mountain lions, a male and a female, both one year olds. The male had Human DNA on all four paws, the female had none.
Black bears are more common, mainly in the mountains. They eat everything. Residents are encouraged to buy certified bear-resistant containers and only bring the trash out for collection in the mornings, not overnight.
We stopped off at In-N-Out Burger. Very popular place. You can order something called Animal Fries which is not on the menu. It's basically fries, with onion and what I presume is their own special sauce, which looks like ranch. The result is deeply unsatisfying. A mountain of mush and slop. I like crispy fries, sweet potato fries at that, with hot sauce or BBQ sauce. But the burgers were great, and I like saying double-double to almost everything. 'Give me a double bulletbourbon. A double-double bison burger.' etc. We passed a Smash Burger chain. Vlad was well versed in fast food outlets, 'they make meat like patties. They can be delicious. They have a ratio of 85/15 fat to meat. I prefer a bit of fat to my meat, as opposed to bison which you can get in burgers out here. Bison is leaner, probably 95 /5 wild meat to fat. Who wants to get healthy eating burgers?'
Smash burgers and sweet potato fries, Colorado style
Vlad drove through the mountains. We stopped off at the Red Rocks Park and Amphitheatre. They got the kids to work back then. These kids were delinquent, lawless, and needed discipline. So they put them to work. The migrants too. Couldn't do that nowadays. The Amphitheatre splits two huge rocks, the stage at the bottom, tiered seating towards the back. Apparently the guy needed to blast the rocks to create the aperture in order for the stage to fit. He wasn't sure it would work so took off on holiday the day of demolition. Smart. Coward, but smart.
Onwards across the I70, 19th century goldmines with corrugated tin roofs dot the mountain sides. Streaks of yellow sand mark where they deposit the rubble.
Mel Bernstein - AKA Dragon Man
We shot some guns in the valley. In America, statistically 2.5 guns are registered per person. That includes new born babies and old people. 'You know Dragon Man lives in Denver,' Vlad says. 'You can rent a mini-gun off Dragon Man.'
'Who's Dragon Man?' I ask.
'He's the most heavily armed citizen in the US.'
I'm not sure if it's the same in every US state, I suspect not. But here in Denver you first need to undergo a background check if you wish to purchase a gun. If cleared within 48 hours you can buy a gun. Once another 72 hours has elapsed you go back to collect said gun.
American Graffiti
Naomi Haverland - Ink-Monstr artwork in downtown Denver, Colorado
On the final day we took the Pikes Peak Cog Railway, which began with a clang of bells and a slow trundle north to the peak at 14,115 feet. Up there we were told the cookies are second-to-none. When we got there we were obviously second to everyone else, and there were none. Pikes Peak Railway has been in operation since 1891, although closed in 2017 for a million dollar renovation. It periodically has to close when rocks get on the tracks. One rock got on the tracks 6 years ago. When that happens they blow up the rocks with dynamite?
Unfortunately one worker blew himself up 6 years ago trying to move it. 'I wanted to ask the young tour guide who was quite insistent that no question is too silly, whether or not the worker had successfully managed to move the rock at the cost of his life, but refrained. There were children present.
Osterley safety razor at the Pikes Peak Cog Railway, Denver, Colorado
You can also hike to the peak. In 1911 two Texan hikers tried and got caught in a blizzard and consequently froze to death. In the gift shops around town you can buy t-shirts that say, 'have fun in Colorado, don’t freeze to death.' I didn't buy one. Not for any moral reason, I just didn't like the quality of the fabric.
Vlads Burger Bar - Bring your own beer & vase
Pete's & Anastasia's host - Vlad
About the author
Peter Brooker is the co-author of From Tailors With Love an Evolution of Menswear Through the Bond Films and is also Editor-in-Chief of From Tailors With Love, a blog, vlog and podcast dedicated to men’s costumes and cinematic style.
Above: Pete with his Wilde & Harte Osterley Safety Razor.
Follow Pete on Instagram: @peteonauto
Follow Wilde & Harte on Instagram: @wildeandharte
